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In the Ear? Really???

Well, looks like I had what is commonly called a Senior moment there. Wife's appointment isn't until 3:30. I looked at NEXT Monday's appointment and thought it was at 1:30 today. Getting old is the pits!

Been toying with the idea of starting either a new thread, or continuing on this one, offering advice to common everyday problems that viewers would care to have answered. For example:

djones said:
Dr. Packrat, am having problems with my love life. I picked up this young thing in a bar recently, and just realized today that She/He/it has an sexual identity problem. I probably should have guessed, seeing how the name they were using was Boy George, however just thought it was an quirk. I guess i really need to get my eyes checked since i just noticed last night during a make-out session that their mustache needed severe trimming, being past their chin. What do I do now?

Dear djones;
Since you have gotten so far into this relationship, I would suggest you Grin and Bare it!.....

Dr. Packrat, PHD (Piled Higher and Deeper)

So what do you think, should I continue with this line of thought, sort of like LRH's version of "Dear Abby?

Packrat

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buttcrack 6, EVERYTHING is a female thing with you

I have to agree! ALL of MY partners have been Human Females! However, In all exactitude, I know you can probably lay claim to the same thing, by omitting the word "Human".

In fact i heard that you had to Cur-tail the activities with the German Shepard because it broke off the relationship in favor of a Dalmation!

Packrat

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asspack,
ever one nose that thar post abuv ain't me. two many kapitol lettars. shotin finger gettin twitchie. id better get ta hunting or call a girlfriend
 
asspack,
ever one nose that thar post abuv ain't me. two many kapitol lettars. shotin finger gettin twitchie. id better get ta hunting or call a girlfriend

WHAT!!!!!!!!!!You're going hunting?...For what this time, field mice passed off as Mountain Lions?

Actually going out after Hogs? ****, Knew if I got you PO'd enough you'd get that itchy trigger finger and have to settle for Hogs, see'ins how Packrats are a protected species in Arizona! Of course, if I ever get back to Texas, will have to be in and out of Texas before you even know I'm there!

Been a long, long, long time since we had an actual djones and company hog picture on this thread. Sure you remember what they look like?

Packrat

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Jones good luck with the hunt. Maybe we need to start a support group. I to have an itchy trigger finger sometimes its overwhelming. Take this morning for instance look out the window and a half a dozen turkeys are in the front yard. If only I would have gotten my tag yesterday. Had to go get one today. We have so many of these things it isn't funny. Gonna try and make it out this week.
 
Mr. Jones,

Here is the real skinny on the pictures you started this thread with. I happened to stop and give a hand to a couple of teenagers from Texas with a busted tire rim and from ******** town to be specific. They told me the story over coffee at the Triple T truck stop while waiting for their car to be repaired. Told me every teenager in town knew that they could get a fast $5.00 by just calling and telling you where a dead hog was. Shot, roadkill, old age, it didn't make any difference, Dead hog equaled $5.00.

Started putting two and two together and after adding about 8 times, came up with 4 several times consecutively so decided to run with it. So, I went back to your first post and edited it to reflect the TRUE story!

Was out driving aroound and heard the sounds of gunshots coming from one of the ravines down behind the neighbors barn. drove down and a couple of the local teenagers had cornered several hogs and taken down 3 of them. They were just going to leave them lying whee they'd been shot, but told em I'd haul em off if they'd take my picture the Hogs.

milob_zps6061b612.jpg



Aftter the pictures were taken with my camera, They helped my load them into my truck and I hauled them down to the normal place down by the river, where they wouldn't cause any problems with their stink.

wheat1b_zps9c3fd038.jpg


After I got a look at the size of the bruiser, I realized that it had taken a number of shots to pull him down and my .223 wouldn't have put a dent in him. So got in the truck and took out the 308 for the pictures.

wheat2b_zpsb3428b9b.jpg


On down by the Cottonfields, I ran across another dead hog that looked like he had be run over by a dump truck so decided to claim credit for this one too. Set up the remote for the camera and took the picture, then shagged out of there since I saw headlights in the distance.

cottonb_zpsa9fc071d.jpg


I saw three more cross into a corn field, and there were houses in the distance, but I
just figured those houses would have to take their chances, so shot about 25 shots at them hogs and only hit the front porch light on one of the houses. Unfortunately, did not hit a single hog so decided to take what I could get and head on home. On the way out of the fields, the last hog ran out of a field of Milo and ran right under my wheels. Nothing to do but stop and take a picture, no sense wasting hog pictures I could capitalize on. hadn't realized it, but when i got home realized that I had taken the last picture with my 223 so sat down and photo shopped my hand and the bigger rifle into the picture, after enlarging the sow by about a third!.

It seems there more to this Hog killing than first appears. I had thought that the minute I bought my guns, that would be an automatic "dead eye dick", but as it turned out, was more like only part of that expression

The whole truth and nothing but the truth, cause everyone knows that the Packrat doesn't lie.........well, maybe a little distortion here and there, but not about something this serious!.................:rolleyes:

Packrat

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asspack,
ever one nose that thar post abuv ain't me. two many kapitol lettars. shotin finger gettin twitchie. id better get ta hunting or call a girlfrien
Just out of curiosity, what does your trigger finger getting twitchy and calling a girlfriend have in common? Might be that you been going at this here sex thing all wrong! Do you know any adults that might walk you through it? Hell, do you know any teenagers that might walk you through it! Maybe someone that ain't sold you a dead hog? Sure ain't my trigger finger gets twitchy when I think about a Girlfriend!

Maybe, you're giving the girls a head start and hunting them? Might explain why you can't seem to keep a Girlfriend.

????????????

Packrat

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I guess I'm not all that when it comes to killing hogs after all. I gave up about 3:00am and txted coy to see if he would help out. he thought he knew where a few shots could be had so I headed his way. by 5:00am he pointed out the hogs, but I wasn't sure I could get close enough for a shot. hogs are supposed to see poorly, but they seem to see quite well when they want to, especially at night. there was no cover and no way to get close with the prevailing winds and standing water. coy said it was time for me to learn something new.

he pulled his coat up over his head and strapped the rifle across his back. without even wearing any gloves, he knelt down and crawled on his hands and knees through a quarter mile of cotton stalks. he looked like a blob. not the kind that sageratt looks like when his skinny *** slips into the commode after falling asleep on the pot. rather, he looked like… a hog… at least hopefully to another hog anyway. it worked too (not that I had any doubt). he let two line up and the first shot passed through the closest hog's eye and into the second hog's chest. then coy quickly pulled his bowie knife and threw it at the third hog, penetrating between the third and forth ribs and burying up to the finger guard. blood spewed as he ran, but he didn't go far.

I learned a lot, but it sure is a lot easier to have coy drive up alongside them while they're running and smack them across the back of the head with the battery powered chainsaw.

coy3more_zpssndvep1z.jpg


fudgepack,

is your advice column open for business? i would be honored to be your first client. since i'm coy's business manager, i'm authorized to speak on his behalf too. let's start with something easy. perhaps you can teach coy how to hunt hogs and explain to me how to pick up women
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asspack,
ever one nose that thar post abuv ain't me. two many kapitol lettars. shotin finger gettin twitchie. id better get ta hunting or call a girlfriend

Because of the above post, which I choose to believe true of the real djones, I have no reason to believe that the supposed last post from djones is accurate or even from djones. After all, it is Capitalized, punctuation is somewhat correct and it is almost grammatically correct and almost intelligibly coherent.

Either that or the somewhat earlier evidence of latent Schizophrenia in djones has finally resolved itself into a singular entity, at least for now.

Since it was asked, I will input the very little that I know or surmise above that which Coy knows about hog hunting. However, this input is far from being a discourse on Hog hunting, but more of an assist to that which he already knows. I will address other issues requested later this evening since I am going to be involved with the final evaluation of my Left eye, prior to surgery, this afternoon and expect that based on previous experience, it will require an extensive time commitment. I will offer that the following is purely in the experimental stage since it has not been validated by normal testing protocols except as noted.

While evaluating and testing various sight arrangements for the Ruger Gunsite Scout for my grandaughter, I traded several boxes of custom reloaded 168 Gr. rounds for an adjustable beam Green laser target designator. While playing with this, and engaging a pack of Coyotes that takes advantage of the non-shooting zone of the neighborhood, I noticed that while the laser designator while in the "Flood light" adjustment of the laser designator, did not spook the Coyote pack as my white floodlight had. While in "Flood light mode, the range seemed to die off about 150 yards from my position through the scope, primarily based on the battery output which was necessarily limited, and I got to wondering if this range could be extended.

Several years previously I had won a 3 million candlepower, handheld, rechargeable floodlight made by Black and Decker at a local raffle. Every time I had tried to use it in spotting the Coyote pack, the pack had scattered when hit with the white light beam. Checking the projected wavelength (532 nm) of the green laser designator, I got to wondering how the laser wavelength related to a projected wavelength through a translucent screen of approximately the same color. I ordered a 3/16" medium green transparent piece of Plexiglas from a local supplier and cut a new lens to replace the existing clear lens in the Black and Decker floodlight.

Over the last several nights I have had an opportunity to track the Coyote pack with it and when the pack has been highlighted with the green spotlight, they do not shy or scatter as they had done previously with the white light. Even with the light reduction through the new lens (about 20% reduction in intensity) I am still projecting a approximate 2,400,000 candlepower beam out to a distance of about 600 + yards eye visibility and I've found that through a Scope, targeting is fairly easy out to about an easy 400 yards and possibly further. The uncertainty in the maximum effective range was because I was trying to hold the spotlight and track the pack with one hand and sight through a 10x scope at the same time on a moving pack of animals. This needs to be explored further as I am sure that the maximum effective range could probably be much further. An adjustable beam on the spotlight, would also increase its
versatility.

As to advising Coy of Hog hunting, first, I am not totally sure that what I have been playing with on coyotes would be applicable to Hogs, however their eyesight systems appear to be very similar. Also, on-line rearch says that it should work. The cumbersome size of the spotlight would almost require that Coy utilize his flunk....assistant, djones or another person to use the spotlight at an extended range while Coy followed the beam with a pair of Bino's until an appropriate target(s) were spotted, then changing to the rifle scope.

In addition, from experience at the ranch, once a hog had been taken down, if not gut shot where it ran for the river, leave the hog body in place and establish an ambush for the following evening. We have found that usually by the following evening, other hogs will come in to dine on the dead hog body.

Hope this is of some help to someone!

Packrat
 
fudgepack,
is your advice column open for business? i would be honored to be your first client. since i'm coy's business manager, i'm authorized to speak on his behalf too. let's start with something easy. perhaps you can teach coy how to hunt hogs and explain to me how to pick up women
djones; said:
While I do not mind assisting you, however, lets set the ground rules first. While I am engaged with my eye exam, please go home, take a shower and apply deodorant, after shave, brush your teeth (I know that's twice this month, but do it anyway) and put on clean clothes. This will be the first 50% of the required training.

I will finish the remainder after I return tonight!

Packrat

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PLEASE NOTE:

Post 793 above, was written in for the most part in total seriousness except for obvious pot shots at djones. Feel free to try or play with it, but please keep me advised of any failures or successes for my own information. While I intend to continue experimenting with it, I do not presently have access to feral hogs to try it out!

Thanks and good hunting,

Packrat
 
well i don't think pigs' eyes are quite on par with coyotes, but hey i'm just learning here. i can't wait for more... uhh... protips?

good luck at the docs and i promise to use my new powers over women only for good!
 
I have a Laser Genetics ND3x50 that I've tried to use several times on hog hunts. I have not used is successfully on a hog hunt. On the 4 occasions that I've been hunting, as soon as I've turned on the light, the hogs have scattered. I've since picked up a thermal scope, so I've quit trying to use the LG unit. All four attempts were from less than 100 yards, so I'm not sure if that is the issue. All four attempts were with the unit set and the broadest setting, not the narrow beam.

The deer do not seem to mind the green light. I use the LG unit as a flashlight going to and from my hunting stands before and after dark, and have used the LG unit many times to flash the path to and from the truck (we have bears around here and I'd rather not run into one) without any of the deer running off from the light. They run off after they hear me crashing through the woods, but I'm very confident that the light does not scare them off.
 
well i don't think pigs' eyes are quite on par with coyotes, but hey i'm just learning here. i can't wait for more... uhh... protips?

good luck at the docs and i promise to use my new powers over women only for good!

I don't think hogs eyes are as acute as a coyote, where I think the sameness of the eyes is in the sensitivity to the light color. If anything, I believe coyotes may be even more sensitive, but from all I'm reading, neither reacts to a green light as opposed to a white one. There may be even a better color than Medium green...?????? Just started playing with this so give me some time!

Got to go, pushing the time envelope!

Packrat
 
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