You know, except for a few instances, most of our Hog hunts down at the ranch have been pretty standard. We go down, shoot the hogs causing problems, haul them to the gut pile, go back to the lodge and cook up some steaks or whatever and do it again the next day. Usually down there about a week, then go home, clean the guns and put stuff away. With few exceptions, this is usually how it goes and I've pretty well discussed most of the exceptions. Well, except for a couple of instances that didn't involve hogs at all. One of these instances involved Homer, the neighbors bull, and I've already told that story, but a couple of the other instances that got kind of funny and where we had unusual things happen involved a couple of Rattlesnakes.
We had gone down to the ranch about a month, maybe a little longer, after the Homer incident and when we pulled in, Jim the neighbor who had let all that cattle loose on the ranch while he rebuilt his fences, drove over when he saw or heard some activity over at the ranch. Asked us to be careful of our shots as he still had about 4-5 head of cattle running loose on the ranch and couldn't either seem to find them or they were eluding him and had been meaning to come over and track them down, but just hadn't mustered out the hands and pushed them into a corner or someplace they could trap them and take them home. Since the area he had rebuilt all the fences bordered on the South side of the ranch, I asked him why he didn't just drop a section of the fence between the ranches, and when they came into the newly fenced pasture to rejoin the herd, he could come over to the ranch behind them and re-do the fence. He thought it sounded like a plan so figured he'd try it.
Anyway that had nothing to do with us and actually we hadn't even got a call, just wanted to get away from the women folk for a while and weren't really planning on doing much shooting. Our cousin Bob from up in north central Missouri was coming down the next day for his first hog hunt and so we thought we'd walk out to the blind by the pond and see if there was any Hog sign. By walking on the road, you could get to it, but it was quite a ways around and neither of us felt like digging the ATV's out of their container, but there was a trail of sorts cutting almost directly between the lodge and the blind, so just in case, I grabbed up the 12 Ga. and it was apparent that the cattle had been using this trail since the brush was cleared up about 5 ½ feet high so there wasn't a lot of ducking a weaving like we'd had to do before. We were about halfway there when I put the muzzle of the shotgun down alongside the trail and pulled the trigger. My brother jumped, then turned around and said "What the hell are you doing"! I just pointed down by his foot and about 14 – 16" away there was about a 3' – 3 ½' rattler thrashing around that had been coiled in the shade of a bush, and that I had cut into pieces with the double ought buck. Don't know if it was asleep or just used to cows walking by or what, but it never rattled or raised its head above where it lay on the coils. Wasn't dead, it was bleeding fresh blood where I cut it up with the round, was just kind of puzzling since if they think there is a threat, they'll usually rattle to warn you away. We could have probably both just walked on by, but you never know.
Anyway, didn't see any fresh hog sign for Bob to shoot, so went back to the lodge, since neither of us felt like cooking, cleaned up a little and went into town for dinner. About 11:00 the next morning, after quite a few phone calls for directions, Cousin Bob rolled in in his hermaphrodite pickup truck. Don't know where he got it, but it had a full crew cab, 12' bed, Diesel engine and dual tires and was about 20 years old. He said something about a Railroad truck one time, but I wasn't paying attention so missed it. Now Bob is a good sort, would give you the shirt off his back, and always brought enough food and drinks to feed an Army and loved to cook. The perfect guest! Two problems with Bob…He couldn't shoot for **** because I think, he has what is called a wandering eye, and he insisted on hunting with a Winchester .270, I think because of the recoil. He could stand facing you and you never knew if he was looking at you or admiring the oil painting on the wall behind him. I once fired his rifle at 50 yards by my range finder, and it held a nice little ½"-3/4" group, but was 4" right of center. He fired it and the shots were all over the place but he did hold about an 8" circle. We have coached and coached and coached him, but that 8" at 50 yards is about as good as it gets. My brother and I always disagree which eye is the wandering one. I swear it is the Left eye and John says it is the Right (Shooting) eye, but for all I know he may change them off so one eye doesn't get too tired with all that wandering around.
Now the ranch consists of the lodge, the well house, a big old Barn, and two Conex type containers that are 8'x 8'x 24' long. The ATV's are stored in one of the Conex containers, and the other one has a pretty decent shop set up in it. John and I were finishing up the breakfast dishes since Bob had cooked, so we sent Bob over to the Conex that had the ATV's and told him to bring them out and we'd run down and see if we could pick up any hog sign. Bob got the first one out OK and when he went back in to get another one, a rattler rattled at him from inside the Conex. Now for someone raised in Missouri that has Copperheads, Water moccasins and even Rattlers, I guess. I would have thought he would be accustomed to snakes, but he made it clear in no uncertain terms he wasn't going back inside as long as a snake was in there.
John wondered how it had gotten in there and Bob said that the chain was secured and locked, but the locking handle hadn't been engaged in the frame of the Conex and that left about a 3" gap between the frame and the doors. Anyway, I went into the shop and found a piece of 6' long x ½" metal conduit left over from when the lodge was built and took a 3 Lb hammer and flattened the end of it up about 8". Then put the flattened end in the vice and bent the flat part about 90 degrees, to make something like a shepherds crook. Since we didn't know where the snake was, I walked in about 4' and started rapping the end of the crook on the floor and edging forward. I was almost halfway up the second ATV when it started rattling again and it was under the front ATV. I stood up on the second ATV footrest and put my other foot over on a power feeder along the wall so I was about 14" in the air and my feet about 4' apart. About this time the **** snake started crawling out from under the front ATV headed for the power feeder and I tried to hit it with the hooked end of the conduit and when I missed, it coiled and started rattling again. I hooked the crook of the conduit in the snakes coils and yelled "clear the doorway" and pulled back right between my legs as hard as I could and launched the rattler out into the yard behind me, rapping myself right between the spread out legs when the conduit hit the end of its arc. ARRRRGGGGGHHHHH! Absolutely will not ever do that again! It hurts again to even write about it.
About 5 minutes later, after I got the tears dried up and I hobbled back to the doors I could see Bob standing there, his mouth open and eyes about the size of coffee cups and said what's wrong, he said " that snake missed me at waist high by about 6-8" as it flew by". Meanwhile, we had heard a boom when John had blown the snakes head off with the shotgun. My brother knows to stay well away when I'm doing something that requires total concentration and he took Bob aside and told him when I get focused to stay well away from me, because strange things happen to other people, since I am oblivious except to what I am doing. I have no idea where he gets these erroneous ideas!
3 days later, without ever seeing a hog, one of the tenants told us there were some hogs down by the big tree in his wheat so we walked in about an eighth of a mile and there was about a 160 pounder standing outside of the tree overhang. I told Bob that since this was the first and probably the last pig we would see on this trip, we would all three shoot at the same time. Counted to three and two rounds hit just behind the ear and down slightly and one hit him on the flank, a wounding shot. We could see the dust and hear them hit and the only thing I could think of to say was "****, I pulled that shot, did you see it hit him in the flank?" Anyway, Bob, since I had claimed the flank shot, totally delirious for getting a hog, wanted to take it home to show his buddies so we gutted him out put him in a contractor's black trash bag with blocks of ice and threw him in the back of the truck for Bob to take back to Missouri. I thought they had Hogs in Missouri, but he says not in his area up North.
These days, when Bob comes down to shoot with us from the blind, I always make sure to assign him a hog and on my first shot make sure that his Hog stays down, then, since am usually shooting a semi auto, I can usually get another one before they are all gone. I also put a round into every hog that is down before we leave the blind so they all have two shots in them. So far he hasn't caught on, but it would be a shame to waste someone who brings most of the food and drinks, then cooks it, and generally is so appreciative of being able to hunt hogs. Good cooks that bring the food are hard to come by!
Packrat
We had gone down to the ranch about a month, maybe a little longer, after the Homer incident and when we pulled in, Jim the neighbor who had let all that cattle loose on the ranch while he rebuilt his fences, drove over when he saw or heard some activity over at the ranch. Asked us to be careful of our shots as he still had about 4-5 head of cattle running loose on the ranch and couldn't either seem to find them or they were eluding him and had been meaning to come over and track them down, but just hadn't mustered out the hands and pushed them into a corner or someplace they could trap them and take them home. Since the area he had rebuilt all the fences bordered on the South side of the ranch, I asked him why he didn't just drop a section of the fence between the ranches, and when they came into the newly fenced pasture to rejoin the herd, he could come over to the ranch behind them and re-do the fence. He thought it sounded like a plan so figured he'd try it.
Anyway that had nothing to do with us and actually we hadn't even got a call, just wanted to get away from the women folk for a while and weren't really planning on doing much shooting. Our cousin Bob from up in north central Missouri was coming down the next day for his first hog hunt and so we thought we'd walk out to the blind by the pond and see if there was any Hog sign. By walking on the road, you could get to it, but it was quite a ways around and neither of us felt like digging the ATV's out of their container, but there was a trail of sorts cutting almost directly between the lodge and the blind, so just in case, I grabbed up the 12 Ga. and it was apparent that the cattle had been using this trail since the brush was cleared up about 5 ½ feet high so there wasn't a lot of ducking a weaving like we'd had to do before. We were about halfway there when I put the muzzle of the shotgun down alongside the trail and pulled the trigger. My brother jumped, then turned around and said "What the hell are you doing"! I just pointed down by his foot and about 14 – 16" away there was about a 3' – 3 ½' rattler thrashing around that had been coiled in the shade of a bush, and that I had cut into pieces with the double ought buck. Don't know if it was asleep or just used to cows walking by or what, but it never rattled or raised its head above where it lay on the coils. Wasn't dead, it was bleeding fresh blood where I cut it up with the round, was just kind of puzzling since if they think there is a threat, they'll usually rattle to warn you away. We could have probably both just walked on by, but you never know.
Anyway, didn't see any fresh hog sign for Bob to shoot, so went back to the lodge, since neither of us felt like cooking, cleaned up a little and went into town for dinner. About 11:00 the next morning, after quite a few phone calls for directions, Cousin Bob rolled in in his hermaphrodite pickup truck. Don't know where he got it, but it had a full crew cab, 12' bed, Diesel engine and dual tires and was about 20 years old. He said something about a Railroad truck one time, but I wasn't paying attention so missed it. Now Bob is a good sort, would give you the shirt off his back, and always brought enough food and drinks to feed an Army and loved to cook. The perfect guest! Two problems with Bob…He couldn't shoot for **** because I think, he has what is called a wandering eye, and he insisted on hunting with a Winchester .270, I think because of the recoil. He could stand facing you and you never knew if he was looking at you or admiring the oil painting on the wall behind him. I once fired his rifle at 50 yards by my range finder, and it held a nice little ½"-3/4" group, but was 4" right of center. He fired it and the shots were all over the place but he did hold about an 8" circle. We have coached and coached and coached him, but that 8" at 50 yards is about as good as it gets. My brother and I always disagree which eye is the wandering one. I swear it is the Left eye and John says it is the Right (Shooting) eye, but for all I know he may change them off so one eye doesn't get too tired with all that wandering around.
Now the ranch consists of the lodge, the well house, a big old Barn, and two Conex type containers that are 8'x 8'x 24' long. The ATV's are stored in one of the Conex containers, and the other one has a pretty decent shop set up in it. John and I were finishing up the breakfast dishes since Bob had cooked, so we sent Bob over to the Conex that had the ATV's and told him to bring them out and we'd run down and see if we could pick up any hog sign. Bob got the first one out OK and when he went back in to get another one, a rattler rattled at him from inside the Conex. Now for someone raised in Missouri that has Copperheads, Water moccasins and even Rattlers, I guess. I would have thought he would be accustomed to snakes, but he made it clear in no uncertain terms he wasn't going back inside as long as a snake was in there.
John wondered how it had gotten in there and Bob said that the chain was secured and locked, but the locking handle hadn't been engaged in the frame of the Conex and that left about a 3" gap between the frame and the doors. Anyway, I went into the shop and found a piece of 6' long x ½" metal conduit left over from when the lodge was built and took a 3 Lb hammer and flattened the end of it up about 8". Then put the flattened end in the vice and bent the flat part about 90 degrees, to make something like a shepherds crook. Since we didn't know where the snake was, I walked in about 4' and started rapping the end of the crook on the floor and edging forward. I was almost halfway up the second ATV when it started rattling again and it was under the front ATV. I stood up on the second ATV footrest and put my other foot over on a power feeder along the wall so I was about 14" in the air and my feet about 4' apart. About this time the **** snake started crawling out from under the front ATV headed for the power feeder and I tried to hit it with the hooked end of the conduit and when I missed, it coiled and started rattling again. I hooked the crook of the conduit in the snakes coils and yelled "clear the doorway" and pulled back right between my legs as hard as I could and launched the rattler out into the yard behind me, rapping myself right between the spread out legs when the conduit hit the end of its arc. ARRRRGGGGGHHHHH! Absolutely will not ever do that again! It hurts again to even write about it.
About 5 minutes later, after I got the tears dried up and I hobbled back to the doors I could see Bob standing there, his mouth open and eyes about the size of coffee cups and said what's wrong, he said " that snake missed me at waist high by about 6-8" as it flew by". Meanwhile, we had heard a boom when John had blown the snakes head off with the shotgun. My brother knows to stay well away when I'm doing something that requires total concentration and he took Bob aside and told him when I get focused to stay well away from me, because strange things happen to other people, since I am oblivious except to what I am doing. I have no idea where he gets these erroneous ideas!
3 days later, without ever seeing a hog, one of the tenants told us there were some hogs down by the big tree in his wheat so we walked in about an eighth of a mile and there was about a 160 pounder standing outside of the tree overhang. I told Bob that since this was the first and probably the last pig we would see on this trip, we would all three shoot at the same time. Counted to three and two rounds hit just behind the ear and down slightly and one hit him on the flank, a wounding shot. We could see the dust and hear them hit and the only thing I could think of to say was "****, I pulled that shot, did you see it hit him in the flank?" Anyway, Bob, since I had claimed the flank shot, totally delirious for getting a hog, wanted to take it home to show his buddies so we gutted him out put him in a contractor's black trash bag with blocks of ice and threw him in the back of the truck for Bob to take back to Missouri. I thought they had Hogs in Missouri, but he says not in his area up North.
These days, when Bob comes down to shoot with us from the blind, I always make sure to assign him a hog and on my first shot make sure that his Hog stays down, then, since am usually shooting a semi auto, I can usually get another one before they are all gone. I also put a round into every hog that is down before we leave the blind so they all have two shots in them. So far he hasn't caught on, but it would be a shame to waste someone who brings most of the food and drinks, then cooks it, and generally is so appreciative of being able to hunt hogs. Good cooks that bring the food are hard to come by!
Packrat
.....BTW, when you going to start hunting again? ALSO, see you're back to the Packman title again. 
