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In the Ear? Really???
- Thread starter djones
- Start date
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Djones: "Pak, did you happen to be a motivational speaker before you retired?" Was there supposed to be a sarcastic emoticon after this?...Nawww. Will just go on the assumption he really wanted to know!
Re-read my earlier post and decided that maybe I needed to clarify a little more. Anyway, have got the time and am having a bad day since when you get to my age, occasionally, not always, you need a little assistance in matters of intimacy, so my wife had gotten a sample package of something with one pill in it from our doctor to help "Enhance" the intimacy and instructions to let him know how it worked. Well, sat down to lunch and dropped the **** pill into my plate of spaghetti and have been waiting 3 hours now for the noodles to lay back down so I can at least have my lunch!
Anyway, decided that he'll just have to go with what I've already posted. Really disappointed my afternoon of ribald debauchery got canceled.
Packrat
Re-read my earlier post and decided that maybe I needed to clarify a little more. Anyway, have got the time and am having a bad day since when you get to my age, occasionally, not always, you need a little assistance in matters of intimacy, so my wife had gotten a sample package of something with one pill in it from our doctor to help "Enhance" the intimacy and instructions to let him know how it worked. Well, sat down to lunch and dropped the **** pill into my plate of spaghetti and have been waiting 3 hours now for the noodles to lay back down so I can at least have my lunch!
Anyway, decided that he'll just have to go with what I've already posted. Really disappointed my afternoon of ribald debauchery got canceled.
Packrat
Mr. Jones,
If no one has ever mentioned this in your presence, I can understand why, but you are totally Crude, Rude and Uncouth. The immediate resort to physical violence is all too evident in your previous post. What did you do, major in waterboarding in elementary school? Haven't you ever heard the phrase "The pen and the spoken word are mightier than the sword"? Sometimes I get the impression that you are a direct Descendent of Atilla the Hun. Violence should only be used as a last resort!
Take the following scenario for example:
You have been out most of the night shooting hogs and decide to drop by the local watering hole on your way home. You are quietly sitting at the bar nursing a beer when someone the size of Hulk Hogan, with an IQ comparable to one of your truck tires walks through the door and sits down on the adjoining barstool, looks at you an Immediately says "God, somebody in here smells like Hog Cr*p!". You have several responses available to you:
1) You immediately pop back with your standard line of "Yeah, I've been visiting your sister, (or any other female family member) and he totally dismembers you appendage by appendage until you resemble the bag on 1st base on a baseball field. - 0 % chance of survival
2) You put one hand on his thigh, the other behind his head, pull him over and kiss him on the cheek and say "Boy you thure a big one aren't you" at which time, he'll either get up from his bar stool and move to the other end of the bar and leave you in peace OR will come back with "Yeth, I Thure am" at which time I suspect that you are in for an experience you're not going to enjoy!.....50% chance of enjoying the rest of the evening.
3) You can look him in the eye and say something like "Has it ever occurred to you that your lack of cranial capacity is only exceed by the size of your speaking orfice?" at which time he'll give you a blank look, trying to figure out what you said and giving you time to get a firm grip on your beer mug or bottle and administering a sharp blow to the junction of his nose and forehead.(Don't hit the base of the nose, it will drive the nose bone up into the brain, causing you to be indicted for manslaughter and becoming the basis for 40 years of being someone's 'Boy toy" in prison.) When you hit the top of the nose it immediately bruises the tears ducts and floods his eyes with water so he can't see, allowing you to escape at a motivated run.....100% chance of survival!
See the difference? (I DID say that violence was the LAST resort!)
BTW, Nice hog...In the ear.....Right!
Packrat
If no one has ever mentioned this in your presence, I can understand why, but you are totally Crude, Rude and Uncouth. The immediate resort to physical violence is all too evident in your previous post. What did you do, major in waterboarding in elementary school? Haven't you ever heard the phrase "The pen and the spoken word are mightier than the sword"? Sometimes I get the impression that you are a direct Descendent of Atilla the Hun. Violence should only be used as a last resort!
Take the following scenario for example:
You have been out most of the night shooting hogs and decide to drop by the local watering hole on your way home. You are quietly sitting at the bar nursing a beer when someone the size of Hulk Hogan, with an IQ comparable to one of your truck tires walks through the door and sits down on the adjoining barstool, looks at you an Immediately says "God, somebody in here smells like Hog Cr*p!". You have several responses available to you:
1) You immediately pop back with your standard line of "Yeah, I've been visiting your sister, (or any other female family member) and he totally dismembers you appendage by appendage until you resemble the bag on 1st base on a baseball field. - 0 % chance of survival
2) You put one hand on his thigh, the other behind his head, pull him over and kiss him on the cheek and say "Boy you thure a big one aren't you" at which time, he'll either get up from his bar stool and move to the other end of the bar and leave you in peace OR will come back with "Yeth, I Thure am" at which time I suspect that you are in for an experience you're not going to enjoy!.....50% chance of enjoying the rest of the evening.
3) You can look him in the eye and say something like "Has it ever occurred to you that your lack of cranial capacity is only exceed by the size of your speaking orfice?" at which time he'll give you a blank look, trying to figure out what you said and giving you time to get a firm grip on your beer mug or bottle and administering a sharp blow to the junction of his nose and forehead.(Don't hit the base of the nose, it will drive the nose bone up into the brain, causing you to be indicted for manslaughter and becoming the basis for 40 years of being someone's 'Boy toy" in prison.) When you hit the top of the nose it immediately bruises the tears ducts and floods his eyes with water so he can't see, allowing you to escape at a motivated run.....100% chance of survival!
See the difference? (I DID say that violence was the LAST resort!)
BTW, Nice hog...In the ear.....Right!
Packrat
Coy Franks
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Mar 29, 2008
- Messages
- 230
Lmfaorotf!!!!
Hey, all you lurkers, I need some volunteer's!
Packrat Enterprises, LLC is testing one of our newest products and I need some volunteers to test it. We call it the "Motivated Marksmanship Program" and basically it looks like what you see below.
Click to enlarge
What it is, is a standard, for now, NSA target. What we've done is in the bottom of the NSA logo on the bottom left of the target there is a round black circle. Behind that circle is a Springfield .308 receiver and action with 10 rounds of 168 Gr Remington's. Eventually, we'll replace the target with the picture of a terrorist.
Why we call it the MOTIVATED marksman ship program is that as long as the firer hits anywhere in the black, no problem. However if he hits anywhere outside the black, the target fires a randomly placed shot back at the firer. It's guaranteed to, ensure that all the basic precepts of marksmanship are followed. The right sight alignment, Breathing trigger pull, etc. OH, In case I forget, it's over iron sights.
Had 2 volunteers to test it, but after the first one missed his first shot (Top right in the white) and the return round whistled past his right ear (Heck, missed by two inches) he didn't say a word, just kind of walked bowlegged to his car and left.
The second volunteer did much better. Got 3 rounds into the black then forgot about his breathing and dropped his 4th round low right. I'll admit that round coming back at him was a mite bit closer, but I did offer to buy him a new hat and he still left in that same shambling, bowlegged walk. Was mumbling something about he'd rather play Cobra Roulette than keep shooting.
For those that don't know, Cobra roulette is a Cambodian game played where 6 guys sit in a circle with a basket in the center. The Fakir with his flute sits behind the group and in the basket are 6 cobra's. Where the game gets interesting is that one of the cobra's is deaf!
Well, anyway, before I can present it to Homeland security as a training aid, I need to test it a little more and basically, the way I look at it, Lurkers are expenda.....Ahhh...could use the extra money! I'd test it myself, but you know with my bad eyes, just wouldn't be a fair test and someone has to maintain the equipment.
Anyway, PM me if you are interested and as a side benefit, we have established an account with a local laundromat.
Well, better comment to our host - Nice hog, djones. Out of curiosity, what you doing with all them hog carcuss'es? if you're piling em up, probably getting close to being the highest point in Texas! BUT, with all them ear shots, if I didn't know from people in your Church that your voice was comparable to a fog horn in both timbre and volume, would swear you were singing em to sleep then walking up and plugging them in the ear! Sure looks like powder burns on those last two hogs ears!
Packrat
Packrat Enterprises, LLC is testing one of our newest products and I need some volunteers to test it. We call it the "Motivated Marksmanship Program" and basically it looks like what you see below.
Click to enlarge
What it is, is a standard, for now, NSA target. What we've done is in the bottom of the NSA logo on the bottom left of the target there is a round black circle. Behind that circle is a Springfield .308 receiver and action with 10 rounds of 168 Gr Remington's. Eventually, we'll replace the target with the picture of a terrorist.
Why we call it the MOTIVATED marksman ship program is that as long as the firer hits anywhere in the black, no problem. However if he hits anywhere outside the black, the target fires a randomly placed shot back at the firer. It's guaranteed to, ensure that all the basic precepts of marksmanship are followed. The right sight alignment, Breathing trigger pull, etc. OH, In case I forget, it's over iron sights.
Had 2 volunteers to test it, but after the first one missed his first shot (Top right in the white) and the return round whistled past his right ear (Heck, missed by two inches) he didn't say a word, just kind of walked bowlegged to his car and left.
The second volunteer did much better. Got 3 rounds into the black then forgot about his breathing and dropped his 4th round low right. I'll admit that round coming back at him was a mite bit closer, but I did offer to buy him a new hat and he still left in that same shambling, bowlegged walk. Was mumbling something about he'd rather play Cobra Roulette than keep shooting.
For those that don't know, Cobra roulette is a Cambodian game played where 6 guys sit in a circle with a basket in the center. The Fakir with his flute sits behind the group and in the basket are 6 cobra's. Where the game gets interesting is that one of the cobra's is deaf!
Well, anyway, before I can present it to Homeland security as a training aid, I need to test it a little more and basically, the way I look at it, Lurkers are expenda.....Ahhh...could use the extra money! I'd test it myself, but you know with my bad eyes, just wouldn't be a fair test and someone has to maintain the equipment.
Anyway, PM me if you are interested and as a side benefit, we have established an account with a local laundromat.
Well, better comment to our host - Nice hog, djones. Out of curiosity, what you doing with all them hog carcuss'es? if you're piling em up, probably getting close to being the highest point in Texas! BUT, with all them ear shots, if I didn't know from people in your Church that your voice was comparable to a fog horn in both timbre and volume, would swear you were singing em to sleep then walking up and plugging them in the ear! Sure looks like powder burns on those last two hogs ears!
Packrat
Hey, djones...Ran into a lady this morning that moved out here from Texas, says she knows you. I was down to Walmart this morning putting in my application for a greeter's position and the lady that runs hiring said she knew you when you were younger. Got to talking and I told her that somehow you seemed kind of reticent and didn't really say too much on your posts. She told me that it was just act, and that, for example, When you were graduating from 6th grade, she remembered that you were so excited before the graduation ceremony that you had a hard time keeping your hands from shaking while you shaved!
Had quite some interesting discussions with this lady. she was telling me how you grew up in a really poor town and one time you were running for public office as the town Dogcatcher and had a mighty good chance of winning, until someone ran over the dog!
We got along so good that she introduced me and handed me off to the section leader that had the final hiring decision, Hiram Young. We were getting along so famously that I happened to mention that his name was one of the hiring criteria for secretaries at the company I'd just retired from. Must have been having problems with their air conditioning, cause that office temperature dropped 40 degree's in about 5 seconds. He told me they'd call when they'd made their final decision. He must have just remembered a previous appointment as I was on the street in minutes.
Speaking of my previous company, we had one girl that was absolutely beautiful, but dumb as a rock. The only filing she knew how to do was on her nails, and when it came to typing, she used 2 fingers and poked the keys one key at a time. Before she was hired, she had honestly said she was "a hunt n pecker". Well, in retrospect, I think it was being supplied by one of the Vice Presidents!
Well, got to go, just got a call from my Brother who is on his way to the IRS office. Seems our family corporation is being audited for 2013. Will let you know how it comes out!
Packrat
Had quite some interesting discussions with this lady. she was telling me how you grew up in a really poor town and one time you were running for public office as the town Dogcatcher and had a mighty good chance of winning, until someone ran over the dog!
We got along so good that she introduced me and handed me off to the section leader that had the final hiring decision, Hiram Young. We were getting along so famously that I happened to mention that his name was one of the hiring criteria for secretaries at the company I'd just retired from. Must have been having problems with their air conditioning, cause that office temperature dropped 40 degree's in about 5 seconds. He told me they'd call when they'd made their final decision. He must have just remembered a previous appointment as I was on the street in minutes.
Speaking of my previous company, we had one girl that was absolutely beautiful, but dumb as a rock. The only filing she knew how to do was on her nails, and when it came to typing, she used 2 fingers and poked the keys one key at a time. Before she was hired, she had honestly said she was "a hunt n pecker". Well, in retrospect, I think it was being supplied by one of the Vice Presidents!
Well, got to go, just got a call from my Brother who is on his way to the IRS office. Seems our family corporation is being audited for 2013. Will let you know how it comes out!
Packrat
post pics of the babe huntin pecker or it didn't happen!!
hogs were wise to my hiding spot and would circle downwind before committing to the bait. trying to stay one step ahead, i crawled into their thicket and laid down in the tunnel. i placed the benelli's barrel on my boot and set the eotech to nv mode. it has unlimited eye relief, so all i had to do was raise my head and look through the pvs14 for the hologram. this is probably not the smartest way to hunt pigs, but with the shotty stoked full of buckshot i figured i had better than an average chance of coming out alive.
glad it was too cold for snakes because they took a long time to come out. when i could finally hear the hogs approach, i raised my head up into aiming position, pushed the safety and hung on to the pistol grip. the ground under me trembled from their pounding hooves. when the first hog entered the field of view i tilted my boot until the reticle showed nothing but face.
the pig chopper blasted away, belching fire until their hides reeked of scorched hair. i saved one shell for self defense in case things went bad after the smoke cleared. the 12 gauge was uncontrollable with one hand, and i didn't make very many lethal shots, but the first few got a good taste of it.
hogs were wise to my hiding spot and would circle downwind before committing to the bait. trying to stay one step ahead, i crawled into their thicket and laid down in the tunnel. i placed the benelli's barrel on my boot and set the eotech to nv mode. it has unlimited eye relief, so all i had to do was raise my head and look through the pvs14 for the hologram. this is probably not the smartest way to hunt pigs, but with the shotty stoked full of buckshot i figured i had better than an average chance of coming out alive.
glad it was too cold for snakes because they took a long time to come out. when i could finally hear the hogs approach, i raised my head up into aiming position, pushed the safety and hung on to the pistol grip. the ground under me trembled from their pounding hooves. when the first hog entered the field of view i tilted my boot until the reticle showed nothing but face.
the pig chopper blasted away, belching fire until their hides reeked of scorched hair. i saved one shell for self defense in case things went bad after the smoke cleared. the 12 gauge was uncontrollable with one hand, and i didn't make very many lethal shots, but the first few got a good taste of it.
Well, from this last post and pictures, can tell you are back at the Milo scrapings again! AND from the above post and the length of time since the last harvest, suspect you are down to using the roots! Either that or the Denatured alcohol, but I do know for a fact that instead of using Gasoline for the denaturing process, ya'll have been dyeing Vodka Yellow and pouring it in when the control officer is around. Don't know what your using for a colorant, been afraid to ask, just pretend i'm a teetotaler when asked if I want a drink! Anyway, NOBODY, even those I could name that are a half a bubble out of plumb, takes a Benelli into a thicket where it could get scratched.
Noticed you stopped posing in the pictures, but Coy Franks explained to me the Texas Board of Metal Health had started putting your picture on milk cartons as an escapee from the funny farm, and you were trying to keep a low profile. AND you can't blame all of your problems from an early life exposure to an Pedophilic hog. If there wasn't hogs, but instead dinosaurs, you'd be out just as actively hunting them. Only difference would be that your bait would weigh 2000 lbs and you wouldn't be using buckshot. Then again, you might!
Got to go, expecting a Phone call from Texas and don't know if it's going to be my brother or a bail bondsman! Darned IRS.
My apologies...Got my Italians mixed up...Thought you were talking about my Perazzi. Benelli's just a cheap cousin! Too **** many Italians involved in the shotgun field!
Packrat
...........................
Noticed you stopped posing in the pictures, but Coy Franks explained to me the Texas Board of Metal Health had started putting your picture on milk cartons as an escapee from the funny farm, and you were trying to keep a low profile. AND you can't blame all of your problems from an early life exposure to an Pedophilic hog. If there wasn't hogs, but instead dinosaurs, you'd be out just as actively hunting them. Only difference would be that your bait would weigh 2000 lbs and you wouldn't be using buckshot. Then again, you might!
Got to go, expecting a Phone call from Texas and don't know if it's going to be my brother or a bail bondsman! Darned IRS.
My apologies...Got my Italians mixed up...Thought you were talking about my Perazzi. Benelli's just a cheap cousin! Too **** many Italians involved in the shotgun field!
Packrat
...........................OK, here she is before she started working for us! She was running for Miss Understanding of 2011.
Click to enlarge
Hope you're happy! And quit distorting my posts....
Packrat
Photo credit to H. Knox, Sonova Beach, California, 2011
Click to enlarge
Hope you're happy! And quit distorting my posts....
Packrat
Photo credit to H. Knox, Sonova Beach, California, 2011
