Too late to start?

[tony d willIiams]

I have been married for 35+ yrs. I have never hunted anything but fish & only then a few times a year with 3 fishing buddies. Now my fishing buddies have either retired & moved away or have plain retired. I am the last one working & a co-worker whom i have known & worked with for 25 yrs has invited me Deer Hunting for several years now. I want to go, the deadline for getting tags is in 2 days. This fall i will be 60 yr old. I did not bring it up to my wife before because i know how she feels about hunters......because her dad & uncles hunted & she grew up & did not appreciate their demeanor. Last night i told her i wanted to go this fall, She gave every reason under the sun ranging from , "This is not you" to , "i don't want the mess in the house, i will not eat deer meat, Your 60 yrs old, you have a bad back, you could get shot. You are not going to do this. You did not grow up this way"...…..My question is , How do i get thru to her? I do not want to be insensitive but is hunting worth pursuing at my age? I feel i would regret it if i didn't at least try. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated.

Purchase some farm raised deer or elk tenderloins, a standing rib roast. PM me for recipes, I cooks a bit. My instructions require few ingredients and your wife will think you are a hidden chef.
Do Not overcook, low and slow, DO NOT OVERCOOK! It will be tough as shoe leather. She'll spit it out and ban you from the stove.

Go over the ten basic firearm safety rules, always review, I've been shot and it hurts, a lot. It can be deadly and if you shoot your friend he will never invite you again. That was a little jest, Never be unsafe, never! If you don't know, stop and ask.

Go practice at the range with your friend. Buy your own ammunition, (and some for him), it is not inexpensive, even if he tells you it is okay, buy your own of the correct type and size for your game, and what he allows in his rifle(s). Get good with one rifle. Know your limits.

Ask how not to scare the deer away. Read about where they are, what they eat. Go scouting before the season. Learn to look for sign, take pictures and study them when you get home. They tell stories.

Have fun.
I have hunted many times and had too much fun even though I came home and didn't fill the freezer. Found some bears a few times, out of season or I didn't have tags.

 

[wv270wsm]

I'll take a stab here on this also. I'm not quite 40 but have been for the most happily married for this year make 20 years. We've had a few disagreements but nothing horrible by no means. I would put in for the tags that I wished to get and then play the well I've done spent the money and don't want it to be wasted
We are not promised or guaranteed tomorrow. So live for the day.
If her panties get all in a wad over you wanting to go hunting well so be it. I'd like to think that she would come around to maybe your wanting to try this. And if not then that's a choice that you need to face.

 

[Rilow]

I think OP should show his wife this thread

 

[DrSteve]

I have been married for 35+ yrs. I have never hunted anything but fish & only then a few times a year with 3 fishing buddies. Now my fishing buddies have either retired & moved away or have plain retired. I am the last one working & a co-worker whom i have known & worked with for 25 yrs has invited me Deer Hunting for several years now. I want to go, the deadline for getting tags is in 2 days. This fall i will be 60 yr old. I did not bring it up to my wife before because i know how she feels about hunters......because her dad & uncles hunted & she grew up & did not appreciate their demeanor. Last night i told her i wanted to go this fall, She gave every reason under the sun ranging from , "This is not you" to , "i don't want the mess in the house, i will not eat deer meat, Your 60 yrs old, you have a bad back, you could get shot. You are not going to do this. You did not grow up this way"...…..My question is , How do i get thru to her? I do not want to be insensitive but is hunting worth pursuing at my age? I feel i would regret it if i didn't at least try. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated.

I started deer hunting at age 60 six years ago and I love it. I hunt often with bow, shotgun, and rifle. It can be strenuous depending on where and how you hunt, but they even have special handicapped hunting here in Virginia for people in wheelchairs. My wife has been very supportive. She even found me a lead on new hunter workship and mentor. Taking the basic hunter course and getting a mentor is invaluable.

So the hunting aspects are certainly doable. The relationship aspects are harder.

Step one would be to clearly communicate your thoughts and feelings. If that doesn't work, you and your wife might consider relationship counseling if not hunting would be a problem for you. I wouldn't want to walk around resenting my wife because she prevented me from doing something I really wanted to do.

Good luck.

 

[Eptphil]

I have been married for 35+ yrs. I have never hunted anything but fish & only then a few times a year with 3 fishing buddies. Now my fishing buddies have either retired & moved away or have plain retired. I am the last one working & a co-worker whom i have known & worked with for 25 yrs has invited me Deer Hunting for several years now. I want to go, the deadline for getting tags is in 2 days. This fall i will be 60 yr old. I did not bring it up to my wife before because i know how she feels about hunters......because her dad & uncles hunted & she grew up & did not appreciate their demeanor. Last night i told her i wanted to go this fall, She gave every reason under the sun ranging from , "This is not you" to , "i don't want the mess in the house, i will not eat deer meat, Your 60 yrs old, you have a bad back, you could get shot. You are not going to do this. You did not grow up this way"...…..My question is , How do i get thru to her? I do not want to be insensitive but is hunting worth pursuing at my age? I feel i would regret it if i didn't at least try. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated.

I am also 60 years old and have been hunting for over 30 years. I'm not one to give marriage , but you are a grown man and don't need your wife's permission to go hunting. Yes she might get a little upset, but it's your life. She doesn't have to right to be so controlling. Just buy one tag and try it out . See how you like it.

 

[John Polk]

I am 70 years "young" and I will tell you I have worse classification of severe spinal stenosis and severe spinal arthritis that can be debilitating at times. Actually most times. I had my best year of deer hunting ever last fall and it was hard to do but it was worth every second of the effort. I went elk hunting last fall and toughed it out right up to being snowed out and having to break camp for a bug out. But when I am in the woods, watching dawn break and woods coming alive, pain just melts away and I am in a really good place. If the shooting of a deer is of question, still go and sit with your buddy if he is ok with it to experience it first hand. Maybe you won't like it or maybe you will absolutely love it. Hunting is not killing but the summation of a total experience that cannot be easily described to anyone unless you actually experience it. Hearing a deer walking up on you will elevate your senses to a degree you never thought possible and even if you do not shoot anything that experience alone will be worth every second in the woods. If you take the time to be an observer, you will see animals do things that you didn't think was possible and sometimes laughable. Bring a camera, bring a lunch, take a nap in the woods, enjoy the moment is what I will tell you.

Oh yeah, my wife will not eat venison but she understands my time in the woods is my mental health fix and she hopes I can do it for as long as I can stand up.

I've got Muddyboots trumped by about 9 years and I concur with his sentiments exactly. Get yourself a good rifle, a good pair of boots and head out into the wonderful world of the "woods." Hopefully you'll be successful and you can bring your animal home. Then turn to your wife and say, after handing her you're hunting knife, "skin it." ( I am assuming you can still run)

 

[Rooks]

If it's something that your feel strongly about, do it! It's an experience, and there is a right way to go about it. An honorable and ethical hunt is an endeavor that people should idolize. If her experience with her family was negative, that's unfortunate. She doesn't know everything, and making someone miserable to get what she wants for someone else is wrong. If you pursue this honorably, it's honorable. I have to hunt while respecting my wife's boundaries too, she doesn't appreciate it. You're not too late, go...

 

[dragon798]

Can always find a new wife.....
But that is costly....
Probably your best is to cave to her...let her run your life some more.....
But if you really want to try hunting....go for it....if your sitting in a stand or such...no real worry about being shot...if you're running brush..wear lots of orange......i am not so callused to think I can go anywhere and not be subject to some idiot looking at me thru his rifle scope.....i just hope if the trigger is pulled it is a good shot.....
If you're wo lucky to take an animal on your hunt you could always donate to a family in need..since she won't eat of cook it..which just leaves mkre for you anyways.......
If you want to claim it's a back issue....jump in line....my back is crap...yet I walk as much as i possibly can...not just for the exercise...but the woods make me feel better about life in general.....
If she wants to keep bitching at you.....well...thats your decision to make......she may just keep it up knowing she won before......

You know why a divorce is so expensive?
Because its worth it!

 

[Ronald W Schaefer]

Well, some things to think about and some counter arguments:

1. Hunting is a time honored tradition--hunter gatherers have been doing it from 35,000 years ago 'til today
2. Meat is Free Range and Organic meat--steroids and antibiotic free; very much appreciated by outfits such as "Hunters for the Hungry" and all of the rest of us wild game carnivores
3. You use fair chase methods and ethical harvest techniques that ensure a sustainable heard. The animals live wild and free until they are humanely harvested with an instantaneous passing. They do not live their lives in captivity, force fed and caged like industry harvested meat sources, harvested by many undignified means.
4. Modern day range and wildlife management techniques ensure the health and size of the herds -- hunting is a strong tool in the modern day science of herd management.

Does your wife eat meat? Has she ever tasted game meat of any sort? I have no problem with vegetarians and vegans calling me out for hunting...they walk the talk by not eating meat. For meat eaters who call me out--I highlight how hypocritical they are and cite the benefits described above. I don't argue or proselytize, I just give my reasons and go about my business.

Hunting is a rewarding, fun, spiritual experience with many tangible benefits. Also the shooting, preparation, packing and "outdoor experience" are a reward in and of itself, regardless of the success of the harvest.

I'm very lucky, everyone in our extended family, boys and girls (and wife) all hunt (firearms and archery) and fish and do out door things. My youngest son is a wildlife biologist on a large south Texas hunting ranch and has a blog on game meat preparation, preservation and storage and a cookbook with some really outstanding recipes and advice--the ladies love it.

So good luck man.

 

[Twentyguns]

You only live once far as we know. I've got a like minded wife in may ways... but set the agreement 35 years ago so there has never been a problem. Now at your age with debilitating back problems, I highly recommend you get started while you can. I still am able to fool myself that im 25, pack out my deer and hunt solo more often than not. I'll do this until I'm in the bone yard because as far as i know there are no second swings. And hunting is my "quality of life" measure stick. The wife is okay with me going because she's got equal autonomy to do what she wants, and i told her at 25 years old that hunting will never change for me and let her make the decision if that was right for her. She made the decision to marry a hunter / fisherman and everything has been a compromise that works fir us since. That water is under the bridge for you, I know, but there is nothing more rewarding to most if us than getting our own organic meat without the plastic wrap. I say go for it. Be sensitive to her slob hunter exposure. Ethics, respecting the harvest comes easy when you make it important. Not sure where your hunting but its likely going to be a nice time with your buddies and a story. She'll get over it. Just mho only.

 

[SDPlinker]

Geez! What a long thread!
I never try and change a closed mind, a logical and one that is capable of reason yes. If everyone was logical and capable of reason we wouldn't have so many after our firearms. I am soooo glad I am single, and for that very reason. To those of you that are fortunate to have a wife or girlfriend that has logic and reasoning, my hat is off to you!!!

 

[Ranchdog]

Ok this is a great thread. We are never to old to learn no matter what it may be we are pursuing. That's what is great about waking up in the morning well that and playing with my pups. I would ask her if she has learned anything out of the ordinary in the past year and did it directly affect who she was as a person or did it add to her experience and knowledge base? And if you get shot which is a low probability unless your buddy shoots a right angle rifle, at least your back won't hurt. Most of my time hunting is experiencing the serenity of nature and giving myself time to just feel refreshed which is unduplicated. Good luck and you will never regret the experience.

 

[BarrelTwist72]

In the 1960s, they wanted equal rights. We gave it to them. That spawned feminism. Ohhhhh, that wonderful feminism!! Today, they're involved in everything from real estate to government and destroying everything that they touch! Consider elizabeth (e) warren (w). Consider maxine (m) waters (w) ( oh, what a joy she is). Consider debbie (d) wasserman (w) schultz (s). Consider the shining star of them all - pelosi (p); imagine living with her!!! There are three (active) of them on the Supreme Court; what goodies they are!!

Today, after sixty years of attempting to "live like men," are they happy? Of course not! Still raising 'ell wherever they can!

I'll help you solve this - 1-800- Divorce- Lawyer!!!

Here's your argument- Goodbye, baby; what you have to offer is now old and I want some "fresh stuff"!!! Furthermore, I'm going hunting!!!

And then, go get yourself a .338-378 Weatherby Magnum!!!

The world is littered with 60 year old men poking 23 year old gorgeous women, and they're smiling all the way from the bedroom to the hunting lodge!!

Go find one and "become" happy!!!!! She'll eat deer meat; she'll "allow" you to put the deer head and the hide on the wall, and you'll be happier than a gopher in loose dirt every time you crawl in between the sheets!!! Also, she'll go hunting with you too!!! Go find one and... LIVE!!!!

Problem solved!!!

You're welcome!!

 

[Weaselthis]

I'm not sure I have an answer to your question as to how to "get thru to her". BUT, I'm a lot older than you and were it me, knowing I've a lot more years BEHIND me than ahead of me, I would find a way. Life is short and we're not gettin out alive! I don't wanna be on my death bed saying "I wish I woulda....". Wifey and I had a heated conversation many years back about my hunting trips. She was of the mind that I should quit hunting altogether. I believe now, that was a plea to me to make more time for HER. I told her I WOULD quit because I didn't want to lose her, but that because hunting was such an important part of my life, that I would resent her for the rest of my life. I asked her how can anyone deny someone they love the activity of something that THEY love so much? (Assuming it's not illegal, cheatin on her, etc. etc....you get my drift).
I vowed to be more attentive to her needs and she agreed to be more understanding of my need to hunt. It's been 43 years now and we seem to have it figgered out! I hope you can find a way to get her to understand and give it shot. No regrets! Good luck.