Too late to start?

[Lwarner03]

You gotta do it. You expressed yourself very well here, she should read what you had to say.
Have her watch an episode of Meateater, it's a well done hunting show that could give her a different perspective. I also think people who eat meat should kill and butcher an animal at least once so they can see what they are supporting. In my opinion hunting encourages a deep respect and appreciation for our wildlife and wild country.
Tell her to keep an open mind, it's hard to learn anything if you're convinced you know it all already... that's for teenagers, adults should know better.

 

[jasonco]

Just gunna leave this here.

 

[zb338]

I'm 86, don't do much hunting , but I'm still shooting and still fishing quite a bit.
When I tell my wife I'm going she usually says "good I'll have a nice peaceful day".

Zeke

 

[blvette75]

I have been married for 35+ yrs. I have never hunted anything but fish & only then a few times a year with 3 fishing buddies. Now my fishing buddies have either retired & moved away or have plain retired. I am the last one working & a co-worker whom i have known & worked with for 25 yrs has invited me Deer Hunting for several years now. I want to go, the deadline for getting tags is in 2 days. This fall i will be 60 yr old. I did not bring it up to my wife before because i know how she feels about hunters......because her dad & uncles hunted & she grew up & did not appreciate their demeanor. Last night i told her i wanted to go this fall, She gave every reason under the sun ranging from , "This is not you" to , "i don't want the mess in the house, i will not eat deer meat, Your 60 yrs old, you have a bad back, you could get shot. You are not going to do this. You did not grow up this way"...…..My question is , How do i get thru to her? I do not want to be insensitive but is hunting worth pursuing at my age? I feel i would regret it if i didn't at least try. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated.

Hi James, like you in my early 60s, I started taking up hunting again recently. I would address the safety issue with her first, hunter safety programs and just shooting safely in general. As we get older the ability to maintain interest with hobbies are what keeps us active. The fact you want to try something new could be something that could open up an entire hobby for you and there is much to learn in a forum like this and other resources, I hope she encourages you to find new ineterests. I am on my second marriage first wife past away, now I am teaching my 12 year old daughter to hunt and fish and the shooting sports. Although my second wife doesn't necessarily like me hunting, she understands that it keeps my mind and body active, and has provided an additional bond with our daughter. I am sure if you explain the why you want to do it and how you would do this safely she will come around. At our age if we can find something new to learn, that provides some additional incentive to keep fit it is better than watching TV and sitting on a couch and getting older, there are a lot of positives to new activities. Just gently remind her you are not her dad or uncles. Good luck

 

[Shortmag11]

go hunting. You only live once, and if you want to experience hunting then you should! you have already brought it up and heard her thoughts. Now you go and tell her you have decided to go hunt this fall because it is something you need to do for you! However, you would like to reassure her that this will in no way change the kind of kind-hearted man that you are, and furthermore you will be sure to not make any messes in the house, or require her to eat your harvest. You can enjoy the meat yourself or bless friends and family with it, or those in need! Let her know that you take this very seriously and will be practicing your shooting and hunting skills beforehand in order to have a SAFE and fun experience. You plan to wear Hunter orange etc. and will be safe. Your wife loves and cares for you and she needs to know you appreciate that, but she also needs to let you be your own man and experience things in this life! Your fishing buddies are gone and a long time friend has reached out to you and you wanna take advantage of this opportunity to further your friendship with them as well as enjoy the great outdoors. Sunrise from a frosty treestand is quite beautiful! Man I feel like an advice columnist lol! Good luck and happy hunting!

This pretty much sums it up. What would your wife say if she decided she wanted to try a new hobby at 60 years old and you told her she couldn't because you didn't like it or it just wasn't her?? If it's something you really want to do, then do it. It sounds like she thinks she's your mother and you're her kid! Besides, it's not going to hurt her in any way, shape or form. It also sounds like she's used to telling you what to do and you oblige. Old habits die hard.

 

[Lynn Coleman]

Lot of great advice! Don't think I could handle that, would negotiate, then Go! Life is fleeting

 

[Ol' Red]

Not even a rock and hard spot on this decision. GO HUNTING! My wife used to get very mad at me because I was hunting moose or caribou every year on her birthday. Not my fault she was born in Sept. I moved to Wy eventually and seasons fall on different dates or I would still be out there on her birthday. Take charge or stay home and miss out.

 

[chilli42]

I have been married for 35+ yrs. I have never hunted anything but fish & only then a few times a year with 3 fishing buddies. Now my fishing buddies have either retired & moved away or have plain retired. I am the last one working & a co-worker whom i have known & worked with for 25 yrs has invited me Deer Hunting for several years now. I want to go, the deadline for getting tags is in 2 days. This fall i will be 60 yr old. I did not bring it up to my wife before because i know how she feels about hunters......because her dad & uncles hunted & she grew up & did not appreciate their demeanor. Last night i told her i wanted to go this fall, She gave every reason under the sun ranging from , "This is not you" to , "i don't want the mess in the house, i will not eat deer meat, Your 60 yrs old, you have a bad back, you could get shot. You are not going to do this. You did not grow up this way"...…..My question is , How do i get thru to her? I do not want to be insensitive but is hunting worth pursuing at my age? I feel i would regret it if i didn't at least try. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated.

I am now 65. I was in exactly your position when I retired at 57. My wife's reaction was the same ... even the same excuses as your wife. My only response to her was simply that the runway ahead is now very short. That I need to do those things on my bucket list before it's too late. My wife still not OK with my hunting .:. fair enough she is entitled to her opinion, she is not going to change it to make me happy. We don't agree on everything but that does not mean we don't have a good marriage. I hunt and love it. Have met all kinds of new people through hunting. The range time gives me something new and interesting to do. Getting fit to hunt is healthy. After 35 years you have earned the right to determine how you want to spend your time ... it's your life, she will get over it. Don't expect her to agree with you, she won't. Just get out and do what you enjoy. The one Concession I made to my wife was the promise to take the right safety measures (not hunting alone etc).

 

[ofbandg]

Hunter is not something you do, it is something you are - but you can't know that until you have been out there. Be aware that if you go, and you become a hunter, it could change you, and this could effect your relationship. My wife and I have been together since we were teenagers, about 53 years, and she knows the pull hunting has on me. She hunts as well but isn't really a hunter. She just likes being part of the team and she grew up on wild game so she loves taking fat young bucks and bulls and making them into great meals.

You have been married 35 years James so your relationship is obviously much more than you are capable of telling us. It's clear your wife has issues based on previous experiences with hunters. You will have to seriously discuss what they are and how you can make her more comfortable with the notion of you experimenting with hunting. I don't know Texas hunting but in my part of the world we don't expect to be successful the first year of hunting, unless we have a very devoted mentor and have also spent hours of practice with our rifle. New hunters/shooters are generally restricted in their ranges and opportunities so failure is the expectation. This isn't a bad thing. As has already been explained in this thread, hunting is much more than killing an animal. The quality of the surroundings, the shared excitement of going on an adventure with others, the bonding that happens while story telling and teasing over a meal and, perhaps, a few beer at the end of a long day, it's part of a larger experience. If your wife can't be part of that it can be intimidating.

Good marriages last a long time because both parties learn to negotiate differences while still supporting each other. It's tough at times because we all evolve and change as we age. Neither of you are the same person you were on your wedding day. Both partners have to learn that if you stop changing, stop growing as a person, you become less interesting even to your partner. This invitation to go hunting is a chance for you to try something new. Whether you enjoy it or decide never to go again, it's worth the risk.

 

[P7M13]

Never too late.
@James B. , reading between the lines, you hesitated to tell her because you knew her prejudice against hunters, and accurately predicted how she would respond. Let me guess, her male family members were pieces of work? Kind of late in your game, but good on ya for bringing it up.
It saddens me to read that, after 35+ years, she still doesn't understand you. Have you hidden yourself that long?
Advice:

1. Purchase the license and tags, man!
2. Open the dialog with your wife. Try to understand and accommodate her feelings without sacrificing yourself or manhood in the process.
3. Go hunting, at a minimum to enjoy camaraderie and commune with God.
4. The remainder of the details is the small stuff. don't sweat it. No mess or deer carcass in the house, no biggie. Drop your kill off at a recommended shop. Put wrapped cuts in the freezer for yourself.
5. When you return home, be sure to remove your hunting boots before you enter into the house.

PS: when you go, turn your phone off. She may have a "crisis" while you are out hunting. To a larger extent, this is about attention and control. I've witnessed it in others, and experienced it in my first marriage.
Best of luck. You are fortunate to have coworkers who invite you to go hunting.

 

[bamban]

When we had large troop strength in Afghanistan, I turned all the deer meat I got into slim jims (local shop called them venison sticks) and dry sausage and sent them to the units there. One year I sent 10 USPS large flat rate boxes to the 1st Sgt of a Marine unit. It cost me a couple of bucks to have the meat processed and sent, but the feedback I got how the Marines who went outside the wire loved the care package, was rewarding enough for me and worth every penny I spent. They opted for the deer sausage and slim jims over the MRE when they went out.

James, I bet you, the wife will not be too opposed to sending care packages to the troops. There are still a few on deployment around the world.

 

[beto]

I have been married for 35+ yrs. I have never hunted anything but fish & only then a few times a year with 3 fishing buddies. Now my fishing buddies have either retired & moved away or have plain retired. I am the last one working & a co-worker whom i have known & worked with for 25 yrs has invited me Deer Hunting for several years now. I want to go, the deadline for getting tags is in 2 days. This fall i will be 60 yr old. I did not bring it up to my wife before because i know how she feels about hunters......because her dad & uncles hunted & she grew up & did not appreciate their demeanor. Last night i told her i wanted to go this fall, She gave every reason under the sun ranging from , "This is not you" to , "i don't want the mess in the house, i will not eat deer meat, Your 60 yrs old, you have a bad back, you could get shot. You are not going to do this. You did not grow up this way"...…..My question is , How do i get thru to her? I do not want to be insensitive but is hunting worth pursuing at my age? I feel i would regret it if i didn't at least try. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated.

I'm 76

I have been married for 35+ yrs. I have never hunted anything but fish & only then a few times a year with 3 fishing buddies. Now my fishing buddies have either retired & moved away or have plain retired. I am the last one working & a co-worker whom i have known & worked with for 25 yrs has invited me Deer Hunting for several years now. I want to go, the deadline for getting tags is in 2 days. This fall i will be 60 yr old. I did not bring it up to my wife before because i know how she feels about hunters......because her dad & uncles hunted & she grew up & did not appreciate their demeanor. Last night i told her i wanted to go this fall, She gave every reason under the sun ranging from , "This is not you" to , "i don't want the mess in the house, i will not eat deer meat, Your 60 yrs old, you have a bad back, you could get shot. You are not going to do this. You did not grow up this way"...…..My question is , How do i get thru to her? I do not want to be insensitive but is hunting worth pursuing at my age? I feel i would regret it if i didn't at least try. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated.

I'm 76 and stay in shape because I enjoy hunting. Do it if you want to . It's habit forming and it gets you out and about and there's nothing wrong with it .

 

[JMW67]

I don't post often, but I feel like there's been some really good and really bad advice here. First, James B, I'll give you a lot of credit for being concerned and honest and willing to post and seek advice. I think it speaks to your charcter and I admire that.

IMO, the good advice has centered on getting her involved, taking safety courses, donating meat, going with a camera first, etc.

The bad advice is to completely disregard her in the different manners stated. You won't fully enjoy hunting if it's a divisive thing in your house.

One thing that helped me is to introduce her to your coworker and potential hunting partners. You said she didn't like her dad and uncles' demeanor towards hunting. Most hunters are honest ethical people who care for animals and the created world. I think your best chance is showing her that and maybe she'll develop a different impression.

Good luck.

 

[JMW67]

I really wish Lethal Chica would chime in on this one, I think her thoughts and advice would be very interesting and probably more beneficial to you than a lot of ours as she seems to be one hell of a huntress, and a woman to boot