If you want an expander, the Varmageddon is the softest bullet I know. The 70 with Superformance makes a mess of fleshy things, but don't expect deep penetration with it. I bet it will expand in, or because of, a grape.
If you want a hunting type bullet, with mushroom-type expansion, the Hornady 87 BTHP is a pretty solid option. I have not found them to be explosive or frangible at all, under any circumstance, from a 243, but they will penetrate like a deer bullet and not make a messy exit on a yodeler.
I have successfully used the 87 VMAX, but not the 75. The wind drift of the 105 AMAX is much less, and the AMAX bullet is more frangible or softer than all but the Varmageddon.
The lighter VMAX are good options, too, with their higher velocity potential, same as the light ballistic tips.
Lastly, the 100 Hornady BTSP is a heavier, better BC option to the 87 BTHP with similar penetration and wounding.
I am speaking in terms of coyote and deer size game for penetration and wounding with hunting bullets and smaller furry or fuzzy stuff with the lighter frangible or explosive bullets.
I wouldn't shoot a deer with a Varmageddon, unless under duress. However, tree squirrels pop with the 100 BTSP from a 243.