Great thread.
Update please - have you purchased your license and tag(s) yet?
One more comment to add to my earlier post,
there is *no* getting through to her.
People who have formed prejudices aren't swayed by reason, they are changed by a moving experience that causes a shift in their perception.
Her giving "every reason under the sun" indicates that prejudice. Even if you had a legitimate answer for every protest, more would still be found.
A brief tale of experience:
First marriage lasted 24 years. It was a steady progression of stopping things I loved to do: riding motorcycles, shooting, skiing, mountain climbing, hunting, then things like driving in the snow, who I could hang out with, etc. In short, I morphed into a eunuch. The demise of each activity followed along the lines of (a) communicate what I wanted to do, (b) address her concerns, (c) resolution would not be achieved, and ultimately an argument ensued and the fighting would continue until the activity stopped.
It was a sick dynamic. In truth, the source of much of it was an irrational fear of losing me. She had to watch me recover in the ICU for a week after being broadsided in my car.
I made it worse by circumventing the whole process, not telling her about the activity, doing it and arguing afterward. The fighting was actually less, but the problem was trust was eroded.
Then I got into guns and shooting again. That didn't turn out well. Ultimately, trust was gone. Game over.
Would I have done things differently? Absolutely. I would not have caved on a single issue. Healthy endeavors are to be supported in each other, and if you don't have that mutual support, you need to look at what is the source of the cancer that exists between you.
This means you taking a hard look at yourself in the mix : do you support your wife emotionally, physically and financially in ways that satisfy her?
I really missed the freedom of motorcycle riding, and it was always verboten in discussion. A year after our split, I picked up a used CBR and rode that sucker year round. Oh the howling and comments from the ex! I'd take the kids riding and she'd threaten to sue me for endangering the kids. Ironically, fast forward thirteen years, she now owns a Harley and rides.
So my $.02 worth, unless she says she will divorce you, go hunting.
And in my experience, *especially* if she says she'll divorce you, go hunting. That kind of ultimatum is BS.
