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Phrases to Live by

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Post about people getting offended reminds me of something I had to stop doing as a joke.

My grandpa says..."Plan talk is easily understood stood"....So sometimes I can say something and it comes out brutally offinceive.

As a joke, I had some coin purses (some of you older guys remember) made that were pink. On the side of these pink purses I had the words "P***y Purse" embroidered in black.

When ones of the guys at work would start crying and complaining about something. I'd get in my truck, get one of them pink purses out and hand it to them. I'd tell them. " In the morning before you come to work. Take your p***y, put it in this purse. Put the purse in your ole lady's pantie drawer. So she can keep it nice and safe, at home with her all day."

that kinda hurt some feelings. So I had to stop trying to be funny.
 
Here's one i like
The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary

All the young people want what we have without ever getting one blister or creating some sweaty armpits. They need to run one of those kerosene heater we used in the 80's and early 90's cause we couldnt afford to put in a new furnace. Or window air conditioners....and be dam glad to have one.
 

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