DoneNOut
Well-Known Member
I just love you Bro!Don't be basic
The best way to sharpen a pencil is to mount it in a cordless drill and set it to the lowest speed possible, just crawling slow. Season it with various savoury herbs and spices. Place it over a termite mound at a slight angle, so the tip is pointing downward a little.
You have now created a rotisserie style feast for the happy little termites to eat, as it slowly spins they will munch away at the wood, moreso from the tip as it's closer to them, remember the angleā¦.this will create the perfect "naturally optimized" tip for your previously blunt pencil.
But they don't eat graphite or lead. I asked.
So once the wood is properly sharpened in this, the only correct way, you'll want to use a progression of ever finer grit waterstones to get that perfect "scary sharp" tip. Unfortunately this will result in moisture ruining the pencil if not mitigated, so it is absolutely critical that as soon as your done with the stones you steal your wife's hair dryer and fully dry the pencil before spraying the thing with lacquer or some kind of water proof resin. Don't overdo the coating however as it can introduce a degree of tacky, sticky, gumminess to the pencil lead that may provide a less pleasurable and effective overall writing experience (assuming you actually plan to write with the thing and not have it as a showpiece or conversation starter. If this is one of those "safe Queen" number 2 B type of pencils, spray away!!!!
Finishing touches involve checking the tip for imbalance using a concentricity gauge before using a nice leather strop to get that shiny mirror finish on your scary sharp pencil. You should see your reflection in it. If writing in the noonday sun you shouldn't be able to look at the **** thing, it'll be so blindingly radiant with all the reflected glory of the life giving star we orbit.
@Gingerman, this whole train of thought is entirely your fault. You brought up the pencil!
...because I'm weird, but you are soooo much weirder than me, and takes the heat off me every once in a while....
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