How about another Chuck Norris thread?

[HockeyDad]

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

 

[Coyote Shadow Tracker]

1

 

[Victor3Ranger1]

These are great

 

[1mechanic]

I loved him in the expendables. I work alone.

Pun on Lone Wolf McQuade.

 

[Teekerguy]

When chuck norris jumps in the water he doesn't get wet…..water gets chuck norris

 

[Ol' Red]

Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.

 

[1mechanic]

Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.

You reminded me when I worked in my late teens at an air conditioning company the boss found out I could drive a tractor and sent me up to his property near Pleasanton to do some work. The tractor broke down and to get the parts I needed he told me to go to this little town called Peggy to the only shop in town and talk to a guy named Freddy Krueger, I kinda smiled to myself and thought this is funny.

 

[carpassasin]

Thanks guys i needed this!

 

[HockeyDad]

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

 

[Teekerguy]

Death once had a near chuck Norris experience

 

[FlGunner]

Chuck Norris was bitten by a rattlesnake, after 3 days of agonizing pain, the snake died.

Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity…he then went and got it back.

Now this is a true story, back when I was working on my AA just out of high school (2003) we had an autistic kid in our economics class who was obsessed with Chuck Norris…weird kid…stood up in class one day in the middle of the professor teaching…He said "I got a story to tell…Chuck F&@$!&?@ Norris! The End!……. He then sat back in his chair and didn't say another word.

 

[HockeyDad]

Oh, man, what an idea for a bumper sticker.
CHUCK FU&#%NG NORRIS
Spelled out if course.

 

[Phil Rizzo]

Oh, man, what an idea for a bumper sticker.
CHUCK FU&#%NG NORRIS
Spelled out if course.

Put that on one side and God Bless John Wayne on the other, motorists may pull to the side to let you pass.

 

[westexhunt]

Spin on an earlier post I heard it:
"Chuck Norris built the log cabin he was born in with his bare hands."