When I had variations in seating depth from a Forster micrometer die I fixed it by chucking a .22cal bore brush in a cordless drill, spinning it and let it pick up some 000 steel wool, like a steel wool q-tip. I took the seater stem out of the die and used this "steel wool qtip" to polish the inside of the seater. This slicked it up so that it released the bullet cleanly after all that seating pressure. This took care of most of the .003 to .004 variation I was getting.
The last part was the neck, as Ohio mentioned neck tension variation can lead to seating depth inconsistency. Actually, I believe it isn't so much neck tension as it is seating force variation from the squeaky clean necks you are getting from the SS media cleaning. Super clean brass is "grabby" for lack of a better word. Lube the necks with graphite and this will go away. Imperial makes a neck graphiter kit that us very easy to use. It is just a container the size of a small baby food jar filled with ceramic beads and graphite. Dip the case in there a few times up to the shoulder, drop the powder in, seat the bullet, and then wipe the graphite off the outside of the case. Any remaining seating inconsistency will go away, and it think you'll see better ES from the load to boot.