"What are the signs that a bullet is loaded to "hot?"
When it flies too fast. You DO understand that a we reload cartridges, not "bullets"!
Primers are the least useful "sign" of pressure. We can get very flat primers with moderate loads if we set case shoulders back to far with the FL die. Cratered primers are much more often a result of a loose fitted firing pin than excess pressure. If the case is properly sized and the firing pin hole is tight we can blow an action apart and leave the primer looking perfectly normal.
It takes more skill with a blade micrometer to read expanded case heads than most of us have. And the "pressure ring" just ahead of the web is more a result of a slightly loose case-to-chamber fit than excessive pressure.
Leaving the best exessive pressure signs are tight bolt lift, sticky extraction and any head indents showing ejector marks from the brass flowing into the bolt face holes and cuts. Even primer pockets that loosen after a few cycles are an indication your "safe" load is too hot. Case brass flows like putty under too much pressure so if you see ANY of those signs, even slightly, you are WAY too hot! How much to back off in grains is highly variable. Small cases are much more sensitive to over charges than large cases so you get to be the judge of how much to back down, no one can tell you that without a lot more information than just "it's too hot."
One thing you should KNOW for sure is that a book max load may too hot for safety in YOUR RIFLE! Those who spout that book loads are "lawyered up" for safety don't know what they're talking about. Starting low and gradually working up while observing for meaningfull pressure signs is the only intelligent way to find a good shooting and safe load in YOUR rifle!