dogdinger
Well-Known Member
To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown
(Downtown, Savannah )
I was the white guy with the black
Burrberry jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after
you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked
for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you
somehow come across this message.
I'd like to apologize. I
didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my
pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the
jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that
cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that
Kim ber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just
picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful
pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed
at your head, isn't it?
&n bsp; I know it probably wasn't a great
deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from
with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm
sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your
shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have
you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to
mug us again.
I took the liberty of calling your
mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your
cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought
myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of
the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with
all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet
itself in a dumpster. I called a bunch of phone sex numbers
from your cell. They'll be on your bill in case
you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down
the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over
a day now, so I don't know what's going on with
that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your
service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to
the DA's office with it. Oh well.
So, about your pants. I know20that I
was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted
mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm
sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like
to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the
detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and
was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for
not killing you and instead making you walk back home
humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your
choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky.
If you read this message, email me
and we'll do lunch and laundry. Peace!
- Alex
(Downtown, Savannah )
I was the white guy with the black
Burrberry jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after
you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked
for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you
somehow come across this message.
I'd like to apologize. I
didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my
pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the
jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that
cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that
Kim ber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just
picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful
pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed
at your head, isn't it?
&n bsp; I know it probably wasn't a great
deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from
with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm
sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your
shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have
you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to
mug us again.
I took the liberty of calling your
mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your
cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought
myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of
the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with
all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet
itself in a dumpster. I called a bunch of phone sex numbers
from your cell. They'll be on your bill in case
you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down
the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over
a day now, so I don't know what's going on with
that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your
service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to
the DA's office with it. Oh well.
So, about your pants. I know20that I
was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted
mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm
sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like
to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the
detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and
was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for
not killing you and instead making you walk back home
humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your
choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky.
If you read this message, email me
and we'll do lunch and laundry. Peace!
- Alex
