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Randy Rooster

Marplot

Well-Known Member
Joined
May 1, 2024
Messages
253
Location
Atlanta, Georgia
A farmer has 200 hens, but no rooster and he wants chicks. So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster which he would sell.

The other farmer says, "Yeah, I've got this great rooster named Randy. He'll service every chicken you got. No problem."

Well, Randy the rooster costs a lot of money, but the farmer decides he'll be worth it. So, he buys Randy.

The farmer takes Randy home and sets him down in the barnyard first giving the rooster a pep talk. "Randy, I want you to pace yourself. Now you have a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Consequently, I'll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun." the farmer said with a chuckle. Randy seemed to understand, and when the farmer points toward the hen house, he takes off like a shot. WHAM! Randy nails every hen in the house three or four times. The farmer is shocked.

Later the farmer hears a commotion in the duck pen, and sure enough Randy is in there.

Later still, the farmer sees Randy after a flock of geese down by the lake. Once again WHAM, he gets them all.

By sunset, Randy is out in the fields chasing quail and pheasants. The farmer is distraught, worried that his expensive rooster won't last 24 hours.

Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next morning to find Randy dead as a doorknob. Dead cold in the middle of the yard. Buzzards are circling overhead.

The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful and expensive bird, shakes his head and says to Randy, "I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself."

Randy opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards circling in the sky, and says, "Shhh, they're getting closer."
 
A farmer has 200 hens, but no rooster and he wants chicks. So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster which he would sell.

The other farmer says, "Yeah, I've got this great rooster named Randy. He'll service every chicken you got. No problem."


Well, Randy the rooster costs a lot of money, but the farmer decides he'll be worth it. So, he buys Randy.

The farmer takes Randy home and sets him down in the barnyard first giving the rooster a pep talk. "Randy, I want you to pace yourself. Now you have a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Consequently, I'll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun." the farmer said with a chuckle. Randy seemed to understand, and when the farmer points toward the hen house, he takes off like a shot. WHAM! Randy nails every hen in the house three or four times. The farmer is shocked.

Later the farmer hears a commotion in the duck pen, and sure enough Randy is in there.

Later still, the farmer sees Randy after a flock of geese down by the lake. Once again WHAM, he gets them all.

By sunset, Randy is out in the fields chasing quail and pheasants. The farmer is distraught, worried that his expensive rooster won't last 24 hours.

Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next morning to find Randy dead as a doorknob. Dead cold in the middle of the yard. Buzzards are circling overhead.

The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful and expensive bird, shakes his head and says to Randy, "I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself."

Randy opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards circling in the sky, and says, "Shhh, they're getting closer."
Sounds like someone that I know when he got out of the Marines.
 
A farmer has 200 hens, but no rooster and he wants chicks. So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster which he would sell.

The other farmer says, "Yeah, I've got this great rooster named Randy. He'll service every chicken you got. No problem."


Well, Randy the rooster costs a lot of money, but the farmer decides he'll be worth it. So, he buys Randy.

The farmer takes Randy home and sets him down in the barnyard first giving the rooster a pep talk. "Randy, I want you to pace yourself. Now you have a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Consequently, I'll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun." the farmer said with a chuckle. Randy seemed to understand, and when the farmer points toward the hen house, he takes off like a shot. WHAM! Randy nails every hen in the house three or four times. The farmer is shocked.

Later the farmer hears a commotion in the duck pen, and sure enough Randy is in there.

Later still, the farmer sees Randy after a flock of geese down by the lake. Once again WHAM, he gets them all.

By sunset, Randy is out in the fields chasing quail and pheasants. The farmer is distraught, worried that his expensive rooster won't last 24 hours.

Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next morning to find Randy dead as a doorknob. Dead cold in the middle of the yard. Buzzards are circling overhead.

The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful and expensive bird, shakes his head and says to Randy, "I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself."

Randy opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards circling in the sky, and says, "Shhh, they're getting closer."
I swear I have 3 of his brothers 🤦‍♂️
 
A farmer has 200 hens, but no rooster and he wants chicks. So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster which he would sell.

The other farmer says, "Yeah, I've got this great rooster named Randy. He'll service every chicken you got. No problem."


Well, Randy the rooster costs a lot of money, but the farmer decides he'll be worth it. So, he buys Randy.

The farmer takes Randy home and sets him down in the barnyard first giving the rooster a pep talk. "Randy, I want you to pace yourself. Now you have a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Consequently, I'll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun." the farmer said with a chuckle. Randy seemed to understand, and when the farmer points toward the hen house, he takes off like a shot. WHAM! Randy nails every hen in the house three or four times. The farmer is shocked.

Later the farmer hears a commotion in the duck pen, and sure enough Randy is in there.

Later still, the farmer sees Randy after a flock of geese down by the lake. Once again WHAM, he gets them all.

By sunset, Randy is out in the fields chasing quail and pheasants. The farmer is distraught, worried that his expensive rooster won't last 24 hours.

Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next morning to find Randy dead as a doorknob. Dead cold in the middle of the yard. Buzzards are circling overhead.

The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful and expensive bird, shakes his head and says to Randy, "I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself."

Randy opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards circling in the sky, and says, "Shhh, they're getting closer."
This was a good one!
 
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